In His Grip

Living In His Shadow

Why do I always look for affirmation from those around me?  I do this all the time. I want people to like me, we all do.  By looking for the approval of those around me, gives them the power of telling me whether I am accepted or not.  Why would I ever give this control over to people?  And sometimes it’s people I don't even like myself, but I want them to like me. Through my quite time I am reminded that if I am affirmed, rejected, or celebrated, so be it.  I need to do what I know He has created me to do. I need to pursue a walk with Christ so close that the spotlight of this world -- be it for me or against me -- is eclipsed by His enormous shadow cast upon my path.  I will find my significance and satisfaction in the shelter of the Most High.

Whoever dwells in the shelter of the Most High
will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.
I will say of the Lord, “He is my refuge and my fortress,
my God, in whom I trust.” ~ Psalms 91: 1-2

Happy Easter

Because Every Day Is New

There is something comforting to me that every morning is a fresh start.  The day is clear of yesterday and just waiting for me to make it something more exciting, beautiful, and productive than the day before.   Every day is a new  day:

The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases;
    his mercies never come to an end;

They are new every morning;
    great is your faithfulness.

Lamentations 3:22-23

 

Be Brave

Wisdom Study in Proverbs

I started a new online study today from She Reads Truth.  Right now, they are offering a free study in Proverbs for the next 28 days.  These gals have a great way to offer Bible study along with beautiful books and other helps.  You don’t have to purchase the books to participate and there is always a helpful online discussion in the She Reads Truth community.  This was the little nugget that jumped off my tablet.

Go In Peace

“Go in peace for the Lord is watching over your journey.” ~ Judges 18:6

Pray For Those You Love

You make me BRAVE

Watch, stand fast in the faith, be brave, be strong.  Let all that you do be done with love.

– I Corinthians 16:13-14

Commanded to Love

AlI I need to do is love my neighbor, right?  Loving those I know, folks in my family, people I have chosen as friends is easy. That kind of love comes naturally.  Anyone can love like that and we all do.  In fact, I often show this kind of love without even trying or being aware of it. But these are not the only people I have been asked to love. What if I was asked to love those who look different than me, who have made different choices than I have or I may not like?  What if I was asked to love in a radical way that shows no concern for my reputation, safety, or feelings, maybe even opening myself up to being hurt and disappointed? In fact, over the past couple of years that is exactly where I find myself.  God has given me a deep unfamiliar kind of radical love that I cannot explain.  I have found myself loving people do who not live like I do, have made very different choices than I have, and who think very differently than me.  I still find myself drawn to them, thinking about how their day is going, being concerned about the next choices I know that they are making in their lives.  Normally, this kind of concern or love for a group of people that I don’t really know is temporary.  For reasons I cannot explain, God has chosen to continue to place that radical unfamiliar love in me for these folks.  I am now choosing to pursue this new course of action into radical love no matter how apprehensive I may be or the caution that is regularly offered.  My experience has proven that if I follow the ways of the God that I know, he will not abandon me. Love Wins every time!

It's Tough Being a Woman in a Mean World

Recently I started the Beth Moore bible study, Esther – It’s tough being a women. Although I had done this study several years ago, it amazes me how I glean something new each time I study any part of God’s word.  Esther and Beth Moore are really getting into my business.  In the first two weeks, the study has made me think about when I am feeling threatened by a situation or someone in my life, what is the history behind that threat.  Why am I reacting in such a negative way?  Why is it I feel the need to conform to the culture around me by never being beautiful enough, skinny enough, “healthy” enough, etc. (insert your “failure” here)?  As a women who is into the second half of life, you would think that I would no longer be concerned with such things.  But I often find myself feeling as though I will never measure up to the “enough” women in my mind.  Our world is mean in that we are constantly bombarded with the perfect illusion of what a women is supposed to be in the media.  Although I know that it is all smoke and mirrors, I can’t help but have that never “enough” feeling, apparently for my whole life.  Silly me, I thought I would grow out of this by now.  Thank goodness there is a God, if I listen to his words, I know that I will always be loved enough and beautiful enough.  It’s tough being a woman in a mean world.

Happy Easter Morning

Happy Easter!  Our family has been celebrating Easter morning for generations.  I have been blessed to be raised in a Christian family, so Easter morning was always a big deal in our home.  This picture I am guessing was taken around 1972 when our family lived Tulare, California.  Yes, our dresses, shoes, and accessories were new for this special Sunday.  My memories of Easter morning are full of baskets full of trinkets and candy, going to church, coming home to Easter Sunday dinner and the knowledge that Jesus not only died for my sins, but rose again on Easter morning.  I am thankful for my heritage and the parents that brought our family up with a faith that each of us live out today. 

My First Christmas In Heaven - Repost

*This is a repost from Decdmber 17, 2010, my Dad's 1st Christmas in heaven.  In light of the recent tragedy in Connecticut, as well as the passing of a few friends and family, I wanted to repost it.

 

My First Christmas in Heaven 

By Wanda Bencke

I see the countless Christmas trees around the world below

With tiny lights, like Heaven's stars reflecting on the snow.

The sight is so spectacular, please wipe away the tear

For I am spending Christmas with Jesus Christ this year.

 

I hear the many Christmas songs that people hold so dear

But the sounds of music can't compare with the Christmas choir up here.

I have no words to tell you, the joy their voices bring,

For it is beyond description, to hear the angels sing.

 

I know how much you miss me, I see the pain inside your heart,

But I am not so far away, We really aren't apart.

So be happy for me dear ones, You know I hold you dear.

And be glad I'm spending Christmas with Jesus Christ this year.

 

I sent you each a special gift, from my heavenly home above.

I sent you each a memory of my undying love.

After all, love is a gift more precious than pure gold.

It was always most important in the stories Jesus told.

 

Please love and keep each other, as my Father said to do,

For I can't count the blessing or love He has for each of you.

So have a Merry Christmas and wipe away that tear,

Remember, I am spending Christmas with Jesus Christ this year!

 

This poem was sent to me from my friend, Donna.  Our family talks about what holidays must be like in heaven for Dad.  Seriously, Christmas with Jesus, angles, and streets of gold, how can our mere attempt at holiday decorations compare?

Homemade Christmas

There is just something about a homemade Christmas gift that I just love.  Not only does it have that one-of-a-kind, special quality to it, you know that it was made especially for you.  Every year I am on the lookout for that special homemade gift idea that I can make for the special folks in my life.  My goal is for the gift to mean just a bit more than a gesture given at Christmas time.  This year I found these great ornaments at Homegrown Hospitality.  Stephanie is a fabulous artist and offers online classes several times a year and these ornaments were part of her “Welcome Home for the Holidays” class. Once I decided that these "JOY" ornaments were what I was going to make it seemed everywhere I turned, JOY was there.  Panera, one of my favorite meeting spots, had "brimming with JOY" as their holiday cup designs.

In this season of life I will choose JOY.  When I have had a tough day and things do not go my way, “I will choose JOY.”  When circumstances are disappointing, “I will choose JOY.”  When life is fantastic and I find great surprises along the way, it is easy to, “choose JOY.” 

In this Christmas season “I will choose JOY,” and am reminded of one of my favorite Bible passages.

Psalms 100

Shout with joy to the Lord, all the earth!

Worship the Lord with gladness.

Come before him, singing with joy.

Acknowledge that the Lord is God!

He made us, and we are his.

We are his people, the sheep of his pasture.

Enter his gates with thanksgiving;

go into his courts with praise.

Give thanks to him and praise his name.

For the Lord is good.

His unfailing love continues forever,

and his faithfulness continues to each generation.

Join me and "choose JOY" this Christmas.

I am participating in the following link ups:  Somewhat Simple, Fireflies and Jellybeans,Gluesticks, Beyond the Pikcet Fence, Momnivore's Dilemma, The Shabby Chic Cottage,Blooming Designs, Bubble Nature Creations, Liz Marie, Addicted 2 Decorating, Hof ouse of Hepworths, Stuff and Nonsense, Finding Fabulous, The Shabby Nest, Truly Lovely,Simply Sweet Home, Bubbly Nature Creations, The Answer is Chocolate, Sassy Sites, I Gotta Create, The CSI Project, Sisters of the Wild West, Boogieboard Cottage, It So Very Cheri, DIY Showoff, Natasha In Oz, I Should Be Mopping the Floor, Between Naps on the Porch, Skip to My Lou, Todays Creative Blog, Coastal Charm, Ladybug Blessings,Domestically Speaking, The Thrifty Home, Blue Cricket Design, Fabric Bows and More,My Girlish Whimms, Seven Thirty Three, Sew Much Ado, Someday Crafts, Lil Luna,Mama Hens Coop, {Primp}, Vintage Gwen, Frugally Sustainable, Tidy Mom,Pinkapotmus, Between Naps on the Porch, Etcetorize, Sumo's Sweet Stuff, Sew Can Do,My Uncommon Slice of Suburbia, Mod Vintage Life, My Romatic Home, Making The World Cuter, Knick of Time, Slice of Suburbia, At the Picket Fence, French Countrty Cottage, Shabby Art Boutique, Rooted in Thyme, The Charm of Home, 504 Main, A Little Knick Knack, Five Days...Five Ways, Faith, Trust, and a Little Pixie dust, Freckled Laundry, Answer is Chocolate, Chic on a Shoestring, Knick of Time,The Ivy Cottage, Elizabeth & Co., The Winthrop Chronicles, The Dedicated House, The Lettered Cottage, Live Laugh Rowe, Seven Alive, 52 Mantels, Bloom, Adorned From Above, Hi Sugarplum, Savvy Southern Style, Yesterday on Tuesday, Clean and Sensible, Mom, On Timeout

Bible Study-Solitary Style

It might be news to some of you that I have not done a Bible study in the Fall all alone, in my guess, over 10 years.  Yep, that is me always doing a study with girlfriends.  This is by far my favorite way to study the Bible.  I love doing a study with friends where there is accountability, discussion about how things are connecting with your life situation, and a history that you journeyed a particular path together.  So as Fall approached and I realized that doing my girlfriend study just was not going to work into my schedule, I knew that I had to figure out how I would find something that I would connect with as well as stick to without my girlfriends along side me. 

I have been following along with the blog She Reads Truth since early last Summer.  I haven’t really been doing the study, just seeing what was there and how it might pertain to me.  This is a Bible study blog with a daily devotional and reading plan. Then on Saturdays there is a She Shares link up where you can go and read how others are doing with same reading plan.  Okay, so it is not really with girlfriends or totally solitary either. I have to be disciplined on my own to do my daily study, but then get the added benefit of seeing others’ perspective on the same scripture that I have studied the previous week.  So this has become my meeting place with God each morning.  I read the assigned scripture and devotional praying that my heart will be changed in ways that will WOW me.  Here’s to my way of Bible study, solitary style.

Walking My Tight Rope

It seems like lately I have been walking a tight rope.  There is always a balancing act between my personal desire of achievement and the plans that God has for me.  On one side of the tight rope is my desire to succeed and on the other is my desire to follow God’s plan.  I do believe that these can be the same at times, but right now I am in a struggle feeling like these two things are opposing each other. 

Part of my problem is that I know there is a path that I have been called to and the fact that I know I have to work very hard to achieve any kind of success (my perception, of course) in my marriage, business, even roles in ministry and life in general.  I want to work hard at these things but also know that God’s idea of success and the worldly (my) idea of success are often quite different.   I know in my head that the worldly idea of success matters very little in the end and my “well run, idea of success” is what may keep me from experiencing the true blessings that God has waiting for me.  What if I come to the end and God, says “Well done good, clean, well managed servant.” But fails to find me faithful in Him?  What good is that? 

What if I choose to jump off the side of the tight rope that is God’s plan and all will be to His glory?  What if I follow closely after Him and the world begins to think I “missed out” and even perhaps failed?  I realize that my fear is what “looks” like failure not necessarily failure itself.  Although, I am not fond of real failure either.  I have to jump off the tight rope into whatever it is that He has for me.  Achieving has always been a high priority for me.  I want to achieve in the right things, the worthy things, the things that matter in the end.  I will stop walking the tight rope and make that leap into the uncertainty that faith requires.  I will let go of my fears in lieu of my greatest fear of all – a life that made no difference.

I am participating in the following link ups:  Somewhat Simple, Fireflies and Jellybeans,Gluesticks, Beyond the Pikcet Fence, Momnivore's Dilemma, The Shabby Chic Cottage,Blooming Designs, Bubble Nature Creations, Liz Marie, Addicted 2 Decorating, Hof ouse of Hepworths, Stuff and Nonsense, Finding Fabulous, The Shabby Nest, Truly Lovely,Simply Sweet Home, Bubbly Nature Creations, The Answer is Chocolate, Sassy Sites, I Gotta Create, The CSI Project, Sisters of the Wild West, Boogieboard Cottage, It So Very Cheri, DIY Showoff, Natasha In Oz, I Should Be Mopping the Floor, Between Naps on the Porch, Skip to My Lou, Todays Creative Blog, Coastal Charm, Ladybug Blessings,Domestically Speaking, The Thrifty Home, Blue Cricket Design, Fabric Bows and More,My Girlish Whimms, Seven Thirty Three, Sew Much Ado, Someday Crafts, Lil Luna,Mama Hens Coop, {Primp}, Vintage Gwen, Frugally Sustainable, Tidy Mom,Pinkapotmus, Between Naps on the Porch, Etcetorize, Sumo's Sweet Stuff, Sew Can Do,My Uncommon Slice of Suburbia, Mod Vintage Life, My Romatic Home, Making The World Cuter, Knick of Time, Slice of Suburbia, At the Picket Fence, French Countrty Cottage, Shabby Art Boutique, Rooted in Thyme, The Charm of Home, 504 Main, A Little Knick Knack, Five Days...Five Ways, Faith, Trust, and a Little Pixie dust, Freckled Laundry, Answer is Chocolate

 

Answered Prayers: WOW

Over the last couple of weeks our family has been running crazy to events.  I finally had some time to sit back and realize all of the answered prayers these last weeks represent.  From the time my kiddos were born, I had prayed that they would all, make the choice to be followers of Jesus, graduate from college, and find a job that would support them.  The time spent praying is totally worth the blessing of  these answered prayers. The heart of a mom goes through so many high emotions bringing our kids through their growing up years, from things as small as the proud, full, heart of watching your child take their first steps to seeing them realize their dreams and take the measured risks to fulfill their passions.   Recognizing answered prayers has always been a big faith builder for me.

However, seeing the answered prayers of others can sometimes be even more of a faith builder.  Recently a friend of our family had a huge prayer answered.  Seeing the excitement and tears in his eyes when he realized that God was truley taking care of him in ways and through people that he was not even aware of gave me chills.  I spoke with the generous folks that were the answer to his prayer and they too had a faith boost when they realized how much their gift (small to them but huge to this young man) meant to him.  I think God enjoys WOWing us.  It wouldn't be God if there were no WOW factor.  I love being WOWed and feel so blessed for the all of these prayers answered, WOW.  

Third Sturman is Employed

Congratulations are in order to Anna as she has signed a contract with the Spring Hill School District. Yeah!  Our youngest child is now employed with a real career.  Where has time gone?  It seems like just yesterday that I sent this baby girl off to her first day of Kindergarten and come next Fall she will be teaching someone else’s babies.  When I look back at parenting our kids this day seemed so far off and to be honest I was not sure we would all come out alive.  But to be at this place and look back at those times that were hard, messy, and a bit unbearable, I would do them a hundred times over to feel the satisfaction and pride that I feel for what great adults our kids have turned out to be. This all despite of the mistakes that I know we made during those tender growing up years.  This proves that prayer and faith in God can be more powerful than any missteps two humans trying their best to raise the precious gifts God entrusted with them.   Yes, Jeff and I have successfully parented three babies who are now adults and contributing members of society.  Wow, really God? How did we deserve such blessings we find in our children?

Skate For Change Gets a Media Boost

Our son, Ryan, has been a part of a start up ministry called Skate For Change in Lincoln, Nebraska.  Their primary goal is to connect with the homeless community in their city.  Basically, they are a bunch of skate boarders that have a heart for the under resourced in Lincoln and are doing something about it.  This weekend they got a huge media boost with the visit of Ryan Sheckler.  Ryan Sheckler is a skate boarding icon, business owner and charity founder.  He was interested in what Skate for Change was all about and wanted to experience, along with the skaters of Lincoln, the act of serving the homeless.

To view the news video of the day click here.  The hope is that Ryan Sheckler will take this experience back to Los Angeles and start a Skate For Change in his own community.  Mike Smith, Skate For Change founder, is also the owner and operator of Bay 198, a nonprofit skate park whose desire is to mentor and empower the skate culture through a positive environment.  They are creating a space where skaters of all ages can creatively develop individual skills while cultivating an atmosphere of growth, love, and community.

Trust for three?

This past Sunday in church we were each given three playing cards.  Coming from a baptist background, my pastor, grandfather would be quite disturbed by the fact that we had playing cards let alone drums and guitars in church.  But that is a whole other story. We were to assign each card something we value most in our life; family, job, security, etc.  Once we had done that, we were asked to give them over to Jesus.  Giving him total control and trusting him for the plans of each of these things we hold so dear.  During an extended time of worship and prayer, when we had given these things over to Jesus we were to lay them face up on the floor in front of us.  I have been a Christ follower since I was 12 years old and grew up in a Christan family believing that I was able to give it "all" over, but I have to be honest with you I was unable to lay these cards down.  I want to be able to trust Christ for everything, and there have been times when I think I have come close, but as soon as I would lay it down, minutes later I would pick them up again.  Daily, if not hourly, I have to force myself to allow Christ to have control in areas of my life that I want him to and areas where I struggle to give up that control. Needless to say, I still have my cards and have not yet laid them down. The desire to trust fully is there it's just the lack of control that I have trouble with. 

Trust in the Lord forever, for the Lord, the Lord, is the Rock eternal.  Isaiah 26:4

I do believe this, its the application that I can't seem to manage.  Have a great day and "trust" in the Rock eternal.

Living Life Together

In the past I may have used the phrase living life together a little flippantly.  This group of women are the gals that I often talk about who meet at 6:30am each Saturday morning for coffee and spending time together.  Over the course of 30 days we will have truly lived the very highest and lowest of lows in life.  As a group we have and will continue to help each other live, the death of a 22 year old nephew, the death of an American hero, and the passing of a much loved father-in-law. And yet these gals will also live and celebrate the birth of a grand baby and the marriage of a child.  How is one such precious group of women able to live this roller coaster?  We are doing this together, along with our faith and hope in Christ.  We may not know how to do this the "right" way, but just walking through it hand in hand knowing that someone is always there to prop you up when you can no longer stand, is "right" in and of itself. Loving each other enough to be there to weep and mourn and in that grief recognizing that there are celebrations as well is a true testament of the deepest kind of friendship there is.  I love these gals and we are truly living life together.